Yes, women eventually go through menopause. But why on earth is that a reason for some to heap scorn on women? Anyone who feels this need should urgently ask themselves what their own problem is. We must not make the mistake of turning the next taboo into a flaw.

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Comments on Posts About Klum’s Appearance in Venice Made Me Angry

Heidi Klum recently walked the red carpet at the Venice Film Festival in a dress by lingerie brand Intimissimi. Mission accomplished, business as usual: She wears what the brand wants to showcase. A model doing her job, end of story—or so it should be. As I read through some comment sections on Instagram posts about this appearance last night, I got angry. I read that Heidi Klum is “well-fed right now.” Further: The dress is “nice,” but “not on her body,” and she “should have given it to her daughter.” And also regarding her body: “Menopause must be hitting hard.”

It’s clear: Some people who send such words may aim to hurt Heidi Klum as much as possible—whatever the reason. But these comments, which often gain significant reach, can also cause collateral damage to the self-esteem of many women.

I Have Ten Years Left Before the Dictate of Shame Takes Hold

When reading such comments—which are likely just the tip of the iceberg—I, as a woman, can’t help but absorb the subtext: Women in their early 50s should “definitely not” present themselves in public like that. The body, the dress, the age, the hormone status—something or all of it is apparently not presentable to some people. As a woman who falls into this category, one should be ashamed. Those who don’t follow this dictate of shame are devalued. I’m now 42—so I have ten years left to disappear. At the very latest, I should vanish into the pit of shame when menopause “visibly hits” me—whatever that means.

There was a time when tabloid media thrived on amplifying our insecurities as women. Headlines about “love handles” on celebrity so-and-so or being “too thin” generate clicks. The media have largely learned from this and no longer devalue as they used to—but this mechanism continues to thrive on social networks.

Also interesting: Where does the impulse to comment on thin people’s bodies come from?

Stop! Menopause Is Not a Curse Word!

Yes, Heidi Klum is 52. And yes, women eventually go through menopause. What makes me particularly angry: Body shaming and misogyny are joined by age discrimination—along with the devaluation of completely normal biological processes.

Right now, when books, podcasts, and articles are finally breaking the silence about hot flashes, insomnia, and hormone fluctuations, this “dirt” is thrown back at us. Thus, a taboo that is finally being broken becomes a flaw, making women feel they must be ashamed of something entirely natural.

Those who comment like this are not only affronting Klum but every woman shortly before, during, or after menopause. And that’s many, pretty much all over 40. And that includes me. So I should be ashamed. For five extra pounds, for tight clothing despite those five extra pounds, for wrinkles on my face, just as naturally as for the injection of those wrinkles—and now, as the cherry on top, for the topic of menopause, which has just been dragged out of the taboo corner. What’s wrong with you?

Also interesting: How women can tell their menopause has begun

Maybe Question Your Own Problem

The shame should not be felt by the women going through this phase. The shame should be felt by those who write these comments. These people also have mothers, friends, partners, sisters, or daughters who are in this sensitive phase or will be at some point. They should ask themselves: Would they say all these malicious things to their faces? Probably not.

Anyone who feels the need to define women by their bodies or age should urgently ask themselves what exactly their own problem is.

The Bitterest: Women Against Women

It’s particularly bitter that such comments don’t just come from men. It’s often women who tear down other women with the same ruthlessness they’ve experienced themselves. The cause for some may not be pure malice but a reflection of their own wounds or a projection of frustration and fears—but that doesn’t make it any better for me. Your comments are a betrayal of the solidarity we women desperately need.

Heidi Klum will get through all of this. She has thick skin and a bank account to support her. I was never a fan of hers, by the way; she was often too ruthless, condescending, and sometimes mean on “Germany’s Next Topmodel” that it hurt. Criticism of that is not only legitimate for me but appropriate.

Fear of Devaluing My Aging

Today, I see in Heidi Klum primarily a woman who is ten years older than me and who clearly likes herself and her life. Should I ever fall into the (apparently much-desired) trap of devaluing my own aging, she can serve as a role model. Not because she’s perfect. But because she demonstrates: There’s no age at which you have to stop finding yourself beautiful.

The post Mockery of Heidi Klum: “Anyone who writes something like this is a slap in the face to every woman over 40!” appeared first on FITBOOK.

Heidi Klum Comments Are the Lowest of the Low © Getty Images, Collage: FITBOOK